What is a Sexual Deviant?

Throughout this series, we are asking our community to help make us smarter. All questions provided by you and for you.

Sexual Deviant: I'm Blue and I'm a sexual deviant.

How would you describe sexual deviancy?

Sexual Deviant: Sexual deviancy is a label that really rang true with me. The almost obsession with sex that I have and other people's sex and what other people are up to. And being mischievous - I'm not going to say sex pest because that doesn't sound so good.

What negative connotations come with sexual deviancy?

Sexual Deviant: It's like the negative connotations that come with being a slut, which I wouldn't say I'm far off myself. People will assume that just because you're sexually open or talk about sex a lot, that you are willing to be sexually open with them. You find yourself being perpetually sexualised, which is annoying, but we live.

What are your main kinks?

Sexual Deviant: Oh god, it's so hard. Being a deviant I end up taking on everyone else's kink and I'm like, 'Oh my god, that's so interesting, let's do that' and taking a while to then remember what I like and what I'm really into, after totally diving into everyone else's stuff. I'm a massive sadist. I'm a massive masochist. So much more, but I guess those are the main ones.

Why is Instagram upset with you?

Sexual Deviant: Because I'm a sex worker and they don't like us. I thankfully haven't been in too much trouble with Instagram. I just suddenly got cut off. Last week I lost my first ever account. I thought I was immune. I've gotten away with so much so far, but no, the Insta gods aren't happy with me. Gonna try again, don't delete me this time, Instagram.

What kink or fetish is strictly off-limits, no matter what?

Sexual Deviant: Scat. I think I whispered that.

How would a world that is open about their kinks look like?

Sexual Deviant: So much more interesting to me. I always want to find out people's kinks. The best part of my job as a sex worker is people approaching me and telling me their deepest, darkest secrets. And I'm like, 'Yes, this is everything that I wanted to hear today, thank you'. It would be a lot more interesting, for me anyway.

What are some misconceptions about being a sex-positive person?

Sexual Deviant: Again, it's that you'll get involved with anyone and be perpetually horny and ready and totally into anything that anyone suggests at any given time. Which is annoying.

Any advice for newbies?

Sexual Deviant: I know as soon as, at least in my experience, when you start with kink it's so interesting and you want to find out everything and you want to be able to do everything, but don't ignore the red flags that are very clear in some people. You are chasing a high in a sexual experience that maybe you've had before or it's something that you really want to experience. Just don't ignore the red flags, you can get the high that you want and the high that you need from the scene and do it safely. Be careful.

How do we navigate all this safely?

Sexual Deviant: The best thing about this community is the community. There's loads of people. Getting information and learning from friends and people who have been in the scene for a long time is important. As great as the internet is, it doesn't really beat meeting lots of people, connecting, and just learning from as many people as possible.